Face Thy Ego

Lately, I have acquired a totally different perspective on the ego. It is an interesting transition from believing the ego was something that I didn't identify with much at all, to the ego being inside my head on a continual basis. Looking back, it is sort of funny because all along, everything I studied and believed in was pointing me in the direction of really understanding ego... I was just not ready to embrace that I had one, or at least that one was very much a part of my experience. It is interesting how sometimes things are in your face for a long time before you open your eyes and even look at it.

That brings me to thinking ---- What is the ego?

In an earlier time when I felt like I didn't identify with the ego, I thought the ego was the typical business person that has a type A personality. Someone who is always uptight and always striving but never arriving. The ego could even be someone that simply centered themselves around themselves. I thought that the ego was related to the ungrounded type of person that cares little about anything but pleasure, money, and material things. (Wow, how close but way off I was!!)

I have come to understand that my perception of ego was not that far off, but it also was a LOT more. To my understanding, the ego part of our human experience attempts to make us feel like we are separate from God, Spirit and everyone else. More than it being the part of our human experience that feels separate, the ego is something that will continually try to convince us that things in our experience are negative, separate, bad, evil, destructive, competitive, angry, even sad. Fairly simply put the ego is the cause of ALL negative experiences that we have.

To understand the ego, one must also understand that we have a real and authentic side to ourselves, our Higher Self, Light Body, Christedness, Spirit etc. (It doesn't matter what you call this side of you, it is always the part of us that is the "Spirit" of us) This side of ourselves is a constant and continual beacon of Light energy that is always coming from a place of Love.

So you see the dichotomy that we have, being in the human experience. On one hand we have the false sense of the ego and on the other hand, we have our authentic Higher Self, always showing us the Light on the path.

(What on earth were we thinking when we decided to incarnate into human form, right??? - This could be a whole other story *wink*)

So this is pretty easy stuff, right?

Well when you look at it on the surface, you might even depict the proverbial angel on one shoulder and devil on the other. That analogy works well, but it goes even deeper than that.

When speaking of the ego, we are speaking of all and any thoughts, comments, ideas, desires etc, that are not coming from a place of Love. Think of the thoughts that are self-defeating, criticizing of others, unhealthy, negative, pessimistic etc. Being that we are in these human bodies, (being in the human experience as I like to call it) we all have an ego to deal with, face and tame.

We can deny it by saying, I am always Light or always positive, but then when we have the negative thought, or feel sad about something... Where does that come from? It comes from ego.

I have talked with people that want to hold on to their "misfortunes", their sadness, diseases, troubles etc... All those things seem like they are really real to us in this experience, but when we ask ourselves, do those things come from a place or Love, the answer is obviously no,,, so where do those things come from?

Yep, you guessed it, ego.

I know, I know, I have done it too, and because I live in this human experience, I know that I am bound to do it again and again. Each time I "go there" with whatever ego related thing my very clever ego can muster up, I look at it as an opportunity to heal and turn that over to the Light and ask for forgiveness of the situation. This is part of the process that we are dealing with by having our human experience, we must face the ego.

To me, this process is happening in layers. I have a feeling that this is common amongst people that are doing this type of work on their Spirit, partly because as we go through the layers, we discover other ways that the ego tries to trick us into believing that some negative experience or feeling is actually real. It is also because the ego is a vicious defender of itself because if you are holding any thought, idea, emotion etc in the Light, then there really is no ego. This threatens the ego and the ego goes into overdrive working hard at defending its position or hierarchy in your mind.

Here is a scenario for you of the ego hard at work....

Life is just going along smoothly, you're working a good job, making enough money to pay your bills, saving money, and even spend money on frivolous things without worry. You're happy with your partner, and generally feel good. You decide that although this lifestyle is good and all your physical needs are met, you just don't feel a sense of fulfillment. So your Higher Self side, the side that has always been part of you, (albeit a quiet and peaceful part of you) decides to search for something outside of this experience you have been having. You decide to go searching for something because deep down inside you know there is more to life than material things.

Well in this searching you have stirred up the ego and got its attention even more. The ego thinks, "WAIT, she's looking to find some peace outside of the physical world that I have so nicely put her in. What on earth is she thinking?!"

So you go to a spiritual event, place, or even start to have a spiritual conversation with someone. You start to question yourself, is there something more to all of this thing that we call life? You might even pick up a book on a spiritual topic. For this discussion, let's say it was a book, its a spiritual book on connecting with your Higher Self.

Well, you get into reading this book, it's interesting enough and it starts to get your mind whirring around. You might even start to think that the book has some validity to it.

This infuriates the ego because as you start to think these things, your ego starts to think that maybe you will learn that the ego is not really real.

Let's say, you have typically been reading the book every night for an hour before bedtime. PERFECT the ego thinks, "All I need now is a distraction for her for that hour, and get her to stop reading that book!" So the ego has you decide that your PMSing or feeling ill to your tummy one night.

Just a note here, the American Medical Association -AMA- has come to the conclusion that 2/3 of disease and illness are in one's head.

So the ego decides to put that seed in your head... "Oh yea, remember that lady you saw at work today, she had a stomach virus, guess that's what you have!" There you have it, in your mind, I am sick, and you decide to go to bed early and not read the spiritual book that night.

Score 1 for the ego!!

That might actually take care of some of you, the ego won at this point and the book gets stuck on the shelf and never looked at again. (Hurrah ego)

To others, it might take more than that. So the ego once again thinks, wow, this is tougher than I thought... Hmm, where can I toss in something good *rubs hands together* and really get her?

Ok, let's pull the "significant other card", that one works pretty good!

So the day you recover from your supposed stomach virus, your significant other comes home from a hard day at work and decides to take it easy and just relax and take a nap... In actuality, it doesn't matter what the significant other wants to do, the ego can make a mountain out of a molehill if it wants to. (Don't think so? Ever see someone flip out because they misplaced their keys? That my friend, is the ego's handiwork at its best!)

So no matter what your significant other wants to do, for this, we will say that they want to sleep. The ego might go into this drama... "Oh gosh, I am so bored, all you do is sleep!" and the ego then creates a tension in your life, and guess what? You forget about the book once again!

Score 2 for the ego!!

This might finish you off and the book then gets buried under a stack of other books sitting around, if the ego has its way this is just how it will happen.

"No, not yet?" says the ego.... Will have to think of something more!!

Maybe you are single, and you are thinking to yourself, how can the ego distract me? If the ego is not manufacturing a sickness then I am good to go, right? Wrong. The ego can do something like pull the "poor me, I am single card" or even delve into the last relationship that you had that did not end on a good note.

Oops, got lost in a pity party or took a trip down memory lane and decided to not read the book that day!

Score!!! Says the ego.

Do you see a pattern here?

The pattern, to me, has to do with the word  -  distraction. The ego is wonderful at helping you uncover any and all distractions that will keep you from connecting with your Higher Self.

This all sounds quite easy and you might even feel like you don't have much of an ego. (Quite like I did) But I bet you, if you start to examine your life, thoughts, and emotions, you will start to uncover more of an ego then you thought you had.

I have had people ask me, ok, got this information, it resonates with me on an intellectual level but how do I know if my thoughts, emotions or action are coming from a place of ego or a place of Love?

That is actually simpler to figure out then you think! You simply stop yourself in mid-thought, action, emotion,,, and ask yourself. Is this a loving, thought, emotion or action? If the answer is yes, then you know it comes from a place of Love. If the answer is no, then you can rest assured it comes from the place of the ego.

I've watched many people grow in their spirituality, being a mentor and teacher of many spiritual topics this has been something that I have seen time and time again. How many of you can testify that when things seem too good, that the ego will throw a wrench in your happiness and try to distract you?

So think about your ego for a bit.... Think about all your thoughts, all your actions, all your emotions... Examine them, and ask yourself, where does this come from? Ego? or Love?

Thanks for reading.... Expression to me is one way my Spirit works in taming my own ego :)

Namaste, Starlene